turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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