so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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