You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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