Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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