i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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