Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
