he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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