Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
