Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
