Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
