she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
