i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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