we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
