is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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