My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
