You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
