im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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