I want to stick my p in your. b.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
