Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
