I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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