i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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