I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
