Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
