And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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