u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
