My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
home. puking in laundry basket.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
