your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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