I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
