I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
