If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
