how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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