i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
