how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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