i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
