I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
