How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
