I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
