Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
