i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
