No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
