It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
