New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
