Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am naked and annoyed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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