Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
