do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
