either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
