I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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