Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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