why didn't you poke me back
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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