Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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