Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
