I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
