brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
