Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
