my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
