you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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