Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
