Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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