You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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