first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
