READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize