I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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